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The Sky Is The Limit Graphic Video Blog

by Matthew Bonn

This video is a graphic illustration of the past few years of my life, and let me tell you it has been a wild ride. The video honestly is the PG version of what has been going on day-to-day in my life, but it’s meant to inspire and motivate people to be and do better. Being a person who uses drugs, and when I say use drugs I mean use drugs the way you eat. Having speedballs for breakfast, lunch, and supper is normal for someone like me, not to mention all the snacks I fit in between. But to be real, being someone dependent on drugs is not easy. It’s expensive, using pure east coast cocaine and bomb potent fentanyl can easily run you a tab of anywhere from $250 to $500 a day just to feel normal and productive. When I buy my drugs online as I often do, I can get away on the lower end of prices but when I’m forced to buy on the street, I need to spend closer to the high end of prices. I’m lucky that I love what I do and get paid well enough to have the luxury of using drugs, but I know many people out there forced into survival drug selling, survival sex work, survival theft, and many other criminal activities that are not a glamorous way to live. On top of the cost, it just destroys our bodies. From higher chances of receiving bloodborne infections such as HIV and hepatitis c, to the injection related infections such as ulcers, cellulitis, and endocarditis, to the plain risk of overdosing cutting oxygen from your brain. This almost all happened to me — I never contracted HIV but I often wonder how I didn’t. I certainly shared needles and used intravenous drugs with a lot of people that had HIV and I didn’t have a care in the world at the time, but somehow I dodged that bullet. I always cared more about the people I was using with and never myself. I wish I was true to that old saying “practice what you preach,” but I was always good at preaching harm reduction but when push came to shove and there was only one needle, you bet your ass I was using it. I feel like a lot of people who use drugs are like me…we never want to cross that line, until we get there and we have no choice.

None of this is in the video but I thought it was important to tell the ugly and show the truth. The truth is, I overdosed probably 15 times since COVID-19 alone. 15 is not a lie or exaggeration — 15 times I almost died because of the toxic drug supply. The last time I overdosed and was hospitalized, it took 4 shots of naloxone. I was on even on a safe supply of opioids, stimulants, and benzodiazepines, but I still overdosed — the drugs were so strong that for about 4 days I was in such an induced state that I barely remember anything. I remember using a big piece of purple fentanyl in a spoon that someone just cooked crack in, then I remember bits and pieces, one was being brought to my pharmacy, then I remember being at the hospital stripped down and the emergency nurse took off my prescribed safe supply fentanyl patch, then I remember going to my moms house and semi-sleeping for about a week. I would dream such real dreams that I thought they happened, I was delirious and hallucinating. I ended up going to see my doctor who recommended that I go to the emergency room, where I was treated like garbage. I was there for 12 hours and they did nothing to help, they didn’t put me back on safe supply, or even offer me opioid agonist therapy.

I made the video to show the world the benefits of using safe pharmaceutical drugs, but the reality is I can’t just use a little bit like most people. I don’t know when to stop and it has zand overdose prevention, the insight to share my story to someone who may be struggling with their substance use or mental health, or encouragement to regularly get tested for sexually transmitted bloodborne infections. It was designed and produced to achieve all those goals, and more.

Thank you for taking your utmost valuable time to hear me out. Now just 7 minutes more watching my esteemed graphic video: The Sky Is The Limit.

“Buy The Ticket, Take the ride!” - Hunter S. Thompson

Matthew Bonn

HNS CoP via Dr. Peter AIDS Foundation, British Columbia Canadian Research Initiative for Substance Misuse (CRISM) National People with Lived/Living Expertise Working Group via Dope Policy, Gilead Sciences, Canadian Association of People Who Use Drugs, & Believe Co.

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